Beth Kruger

I have been thinking about writing this post for weeks. I thought the passing of Mothers Day would be a good time to honor my good friend, and wonderful Mother, Jillian. I met Jillian in college fifteen years ago. She was beautiful, blond, and had the sweetest smile. She was the kind of girl that all the boys loved, and all the other girls wanted to be friends with. She really knew how to listen to others, was so thoughtful, and made a difference in the lives of everyone around her. She and Michael, her longtime college sweetheart, moved to Belize after college by way of Jackson Hole. They began to teach in a schoolhouse in Gallon Jug, in the middle of the jungle.

I visited Jill and Mike over the years in Gallon Jug, and was inspired by their dedication to the students in the village. They were so important to each person whose lives they touched. I saw them become pillars in the community, helping their students, and supporting the families of Gallon Jug through sickness, joy, and pain.

When Jillian became pregnant in 2006, she was just luminous. She found joy in being pregnant and eventually becoming a mother. She had a Menonite midwife as her birth attendant, for her home birth, which freaked some of her college friends out a bit. We were worried about her, being in the middle of a jungle, with the nearest hospital an hour away by plane. But, Jillian was never worried. She just sailed along in her pregnancy, secure and happy, and her baby was born in Belize, safe and sound. Jillian loved mothering her child, Makayla, and set about to her new role as a mother with the same ease and simplicity with which she approached everything else. She did what felt right, and natural. She and I talked alot about parenting and breastfeeding, and how things were so different in Belize than they were here, in the US. The style of parenting that we call “attachement parenting” was the norm in Belize, so she just did what all of the other parents of kids in the village were doing. This felt right to her, she followed her instincts.

She had her second baby, Bryce, in Massachusetts, near her mothers home. I never talked to her about how different her birth experiences were, but again, she tackled this new challenge of mothering a toddler and newborn with the same easefulness that she always did. She supported her sister through a cesarean birth a few months after the birth of Bryce. She and I talked about how much trouble it was for her sister to breastfeed, and how she wanted to help her. The trouble that her sister was having with breastfeeding was so upsetting to Jill. She wanted her sister to enjoy her breastfeeding experience.  She wanted it to be as easy and wonderful for her sister as it had been for her. This was a classic Jillian attitude. So compassionate, so caring, and loving it was no wonder that she made an amazing mother.

When I think about Jillians’ life, it makes me want to be a better person. A better mother. I want to take what I have experienced from her and apply it to every aspect of my life that I can. I want my daughters to feel that I always listened to them, that I always had time for them, that I helped others.

Jillian’s pure radiant light shines for all of those of us who love her, each day in our hearts.
We can keep her memory alive by practicing those qualities which she embodied.
Happy Mothers Day Jillian, I miss you, and love you so much.

To Michael, Jillian, Makayla, and Bryce Casey. The Rainbow Family. In peace, love, and light.

NO!

Of course not…I gave my post that title to generate a little interest!  But perhaps, first of all you might want to know what an episiotomy is.  Many of my yoga students do not know what this is, and hopefully their doctors will help them to avoid one at all costs.  However, with our over-medicalization of childbirth in this country–episiotomy continues to be one of the most frequently performed surgeries on women in America.  An Episiotomy is really simply put, an cut in the skin between the vagina and anus.  The procedure is intended to make the vaginal opening larger to help the baby out, and is often used in conjunction with other interventions such as vaccuum extraction, or less likely these days, forceps. 

As a midwife I met recently put it, the main problem lies in the repair of the incision, not always the cut itself.  The repair can cause lasting damage to the pelvic floor if the cut is approximated, that is, not lined up exactly-perfectly right.  So–if nothing else–DO NOT LET A RESIDENT SEW UP YOUR VAGINA!!  The pain from a botched job on our holiest of holies can not only make sex eternally painful, but can also make simple bodily functions, such as urinating or having a bowel movement difficult or painful. 

There are many websites out there that have better and more thourough information than I can or want to give here.  My purpose is simply to bring the issue to your attention, and perhaps get you to think about how to avoid an episiotomy for your birth.  See below for my list of resources for more information on Episiotomy.

Lamaze Website is always a good resource for Evidence based Information.

 Childbirth Connection has tons of information on Pelvic Floor Dysfunction.

And the Mayo Clinic site has good information, but more of a technocratic feel.