I visited Jill and Mike over the years in Gallon Jug, and was inspired by their dedication to the students in the village. They were so important to each person whose lives they touched. I saw them become pillars in the community, helping their students, and supporting the families of Gallon Jug through sickness, joy, and pain.

When Jillian became pregnant in 2006, she was just luminous. She found joy in being pregnant and eventually becoming a mother. She had a Menonite midwife as her birth attendant, for her home birth, which freaked some of her college friends out a bit. We were worried about her, being in the middle of a jungle, with the nearest hospital an hour away by plane. But, Jillian was never worried. She just sailed along in her pregnancy, secure and happy, and her baby was born in Belize, safe and sound. Jillian loved mothering her child, Makayla, and set about to her new role as a mother with the same ease and simplicity with which she approached everything else. She did what felt right, and natural. She and I talked alot about parenting and breastfeeding, and how things were so different in Belize than they were here, in the US. The style of parenting that we call “attachement parenting” was the norm in Belize, so she just did what all of the other parents of kids in the village were doing. This felt right to her, she followed her instincts.

She had her second baby, Bryce, in Massachusetts, near her mothers home. I never talked to her about how different her birth experiences were, but again, she tackled this new challenge of mothering a toddler and newborn with the same easefulness that she always did. She supported her sister through a cesarean birth a few months after the birth of Bryce. She and I talked about how much trouble it was for her sister to breastfeed, and how she wanted to help her. The trouble that her sister was having with breastfeeding was so upsetting to Jill. She wanted her sister to enjoy her breastfeeding experience.  She wanted it to be as easy and wonderful for her sister as it had been for her. This was a classic Jillian attitude. So compassionate, so caring, and loving it was no wonder that she made an amazing mother.

When I think about Jillians’ life, it makes me want to be a better person. A better mother. I want to take what I have experienced from her and apply it to every aspect of my life that I can. I want my daughters to feel that I always listened to them, that I always had time for them, that I helped others.

Jillian’s pure radiant light shines for all of those of us who love her, each day in our hearts.
We can keep her memory alive by practicing those qualities which she embodied.
Happy Mothers Day Jillian, I miss you, and love you so much.

To Michael, Jillian, Makayla, and Bryce Casey. The Rainbow Family. In peace, love, and light.

The workshop is March 27th, from 12:30-3:30pm.

Check out this page to find out more information. Let me know if you have any questions.

All this stuff being said, there seem to be two ends on a long spectrum in this debate over circumcision. One end is: It is better, cleaner, more like all the other little boys (in the US)–or it is a religious and cultural dictate as in the Jewish culture…or it is likened to genital mutilation. Yikes! Why can’t we just let these little guys decide on their own if they want to be circumcised or not?

My high school boyfriend at the age of 16 decided to be circumcised as his parents did not think this was appropriate for their child. All I remember is that it was a very conscious decision for him at the time,and it was very painful to heal from. I wonder how he feels now about his decision…I got a tattoo around the same age and really would like to have it removed these days.

Anyway, some of the things to think about that I picked up from all this talk and think are:

~These days the rate is about 50-50% for boys here in the US, the procedure is not done routinely in hospitals anymore. So your child will not be the only little boy to be uncircumcised in his class.

~Uncircumcised males have greater sexual pleasure than circumcised ones.

~A bad job-botched procedure–can cause the penis to curve to the side, or can cause painful intercourse or urination.

~Some believe that this procedure so early in life can cause baby to relate the message of pain with thier sex…although I do not even think that babies know what their penis is, they surely can know pain.

~Have a mohel (jewish man whose only job is to perform this procedure—does thousands of them) perform the circumcision, if you choose to do it. It is done super quickly–and the baby is held by loving arms–not strapped to a table. The baby is usually a week old, and has had time to learn to breastfeed properly, and gain weight–both of these things strengthing him for the surgery.

Here are some resources to look at further to aid in a decision. Please let me know if you have others to add.

NY Magazine recently had a very extensive article about circumcision.

An interesting look into the Jewish history and interpretation of circumcision.

Another website dedicated solely to circumcision.

Of course not…I gave my post that title to generate a little interest!  But perhaps, first of all you might want to know what an episiotomy is.  Many of my yoga students do not know what this is, and hopefully their doctors will help them to avoid one at all costs.  However, with our over-medicalization of childbirth in this country–episiotomy continues to be one of the most frequently performed surgeries on women in America.  An Episiotomy is really simply put, an cut in the skin between the vagina and anus.  The procedure is intended to make the vaginal opening larger to help the baby out, and is often used in conjunction with other interventions such as vaccuum extraction, or less likely these days, forceps. 

As a midwife I met recently put it, the main problem lies in the repair of the incision, not always the cut itself.  The repair can cause lasting damage to the pelvic floor if the cut is approximated, that is, not lined up exactly-perfectly right.  So–if nothing else–DO NOT LET A RESIDENT SEW UP YOUR VAGINA!!  The pain from a botched job on our holiest of holies can not only make sex eternally painful, but can also make simple bodily functions, such as urinating or having a bowel movement difficult or painful. 

There are many websites out there that have better and more thourough information than I can or want to give here.  My purpose is simply to bring the issue to your attention, and perhaps get you to think about how to avoid an episiotomy for your birth.  See below for my list of resources for more information on Episiotomy.

Lamaze Website is always a good resource for Evidence based Information.

 Childbirth Connection has tons of information on Pelvic Floor Dysfunction.

And the Mayo Clinic site has good information, but more of a technocratic feel.

Realbirth is one of NYC’s premier independant childbirth educators, offering many services to the families they serve.  Some of these services are: Breastfeeding support groups, Mothers Groups, Baby Developmental Movement, new parent education, Postpartum Depression Groups, as well as Prenatal and Postnatal Yoga etc.  Check out their website at RealBirth, the offerings are truely mind boggling. 

The Park Slope space at Tribeca Pediatrics is really pretty great, I must say.  The office is ultra-hip, in a downtown Manhattan sort of way.  They have yummy lollipops, and my kids will attest to that!  The toys in the waiting area are mostly wooden and all eco-friendly.  But this is not about the pediatrician’s office…I am really here to talk about Realbirth, and of course my prenatal classes there. 

Anyway, our space is cozy, with cork blocks, ultra-wide mats, and huge bolsters.  I will weigh in on the ultra-wide mats when we have more students…I think they may be a little too wide, but it will make us get cozier with our neighbors, right?  Please come visit me at Realbirth for prenatal yoga on Tuesday night from 6:45-8pm, or Saturday morning from 10:30-11:45am.  Classes are $20, buy 10 get one free!  E-mail me with questions, Beth@BethYoga.com, or call #646 206.0514.

I came away from this workshop with tons of information on teaching breastfeeding and a new feeling of confidence in my ability to effectively support and teach new mothers this really important information.

One of the things that I put on a list of “Things to Do” after this workshop was to begin a list of breastfeeding resources for mothers. I thought it would make a nice post for my blog, so here it is. These are local support groups for mothers and mothers to be about breastfeeding. Comment if you have others that you would like to share.

La Leche League Meetings in Brooklyn

Boing Boing has a new Mothers Group that I think is a really nice thing for new mothers to be a part of. Its a great way to meet other new mothers going through the same things you are.

Noa Leah was born on a Monday morning, to a mother with no idea how intense labor would be. At the time I had never seen a woman in labor, and really only heard stories about drugs, epidurals, and forceps that would bring babies into the world. I was determined to have my baby naturally, no drugs and minimal interventions. Still, I wanted to be in a hospital, “just to be safe”.

I started having mild contractions on Saturday night, after going to the movies and having an amazing Mexican dinner. I thought it was the spicy chicken that had my midsection all a flutter, but as the night wore on, I realized I was in early labor. I put my partner to bed and stayed awake, in and out of the bathtub with mildly painful contractions. If I had only known how much work was ahead, I might have tried to get more sleep!! They always tell you that in Childbirth Ed classes, but did I listen? NO!

I woke Gil at five in the morning on Sunday, and we took a walk around our neighborhood, while I had to stop and squat with each contraction. I thought things were going well. I called my doctor around 7 or 8 am, and he advised that I go take a nap. I remember thinking, is this guy crazy? How can I sleep, my baby is coming…not to mention I felt pretty uncomfortable. But, we lay down, and I napped for a couple of hours. Then we went in to the hospital sometime after noon, as I felt more and more contractions and more and more pain. I got there to have them examine me and tell me I was 1cm dilated. Agh! ONE cm! Unbelievable! Plus, they said I was in early ketosis, which meant basically that I needed to eat some food, or when I came back to the hospital, they would definitely put me on an IV.

So, we went home discouraged. I had Gil go get falafel, and my favorite at the time, foul madamas. We ate, and I felt pretty good, until I started throwing up all the yummy mid-eastern snacks. Time wore on, and finally we decided to head back to the hospital. We were admitted to Labor and Delivery around 10 or 11pm on Sunday, as I was finally 3cm dilated. I labored through the night, and managed to avoid drugs even though the nurses offered them several times. Finally, my water broke with a burst in the wee hours of the morning and was stained with meconium. At some point a couple of hours after this, my doctor arrived around 6am. I remember him looking all fresh and clean, with a shiny watch, and thinking that he smelled like soap. I was sure I did not have that same fresh and clean feeling! He checked me internally, and said that I was dilated fully and could then begin to push. I don’t even remember having an urge to push, though I do remember being very tired. I pushed like my doctor and the nurse told me to…for two and a half hours. My night nurse switched shifts midway through my pushing phase…too funny–and the new nurse was all excited that I was not on an epidural, or other labor drugs. She had lots of great energy and was super positive, and the fresh energy of her and my doctor helped us to get through the second stage of labor. Finally, the baby was born, with very little tearing, and though she was suctioned heavily because of the meconium, we had lots of time to bond skin to skin after she went to the warmer.

After labor was over, I felt great, elated, but tired. We all napped and cuddled together, until my family arrived to see the newest addition. I was not really sure why women ever had another baby while I was in the experience, but sure enough, time passed…and I forgot those overwhelming feelings of pain, and fear. All that I was left with was my beautiful baby, pride in my accomplishment, and awe in the power of birth.

Her book got me talking to my students about breastfeeding, and as in the past when I bring this up, it is a subject that creates a lot of discussion. Many women here in the US grow up without seeing a lot of breastfeeding. I was a bottle fed baby, and really never saw a woman breastfeed growing up. I remember being kind of embarrassed when I was a young adult at the thought or sight of a woman breastfeeding her baby. I think that this of course is a cultural and social adaptation which does not really serve us or our babies. By the time I had my first baby, I was pretty convinced of the benefits of breastfeeding and saw women doing it all over the Upper West Side, where I lived at the time.

Nipples did not scare me, and I no longer thought that it was something that should be hidden away. So, I breastfed my baby. She and I had our little snags along the way. She was not the greatest at latching on in the beginning and left my nipples pretty sore and sushi-like. I had blisters and great discomfort for the first ten days of her life, whenever she would latch on. After a while though, it got easier. I remember at her ten day checkup, the pediatrician looked at her, said she looked great and then asked me how I was doing with breastfeeding. She was also a breasfeeding mother and I told her how painful it was for me, how my toes curled whenever the baby latched on, and how I was not so sure I could keep going. Up until that moment, all the nurses and lactation consultants said that it should not hurt when the baby is feeding, so I was sure I was doing things wrong. But, my daughters pediatrician looked at my nipples, noted their redness and said that I should just stick it out a few more days and the pain would just go away. The baby was gaining weight well, and she basically reaffirmed my choice to breastfeed. And, of course, wouldn’t you know about three or four days later it stopped hurting when she would latch on. Amazing! And Dr. Guttenburgs’ reassurance and realness helped me to keep on nursing my baby.

We had our plugged ducts, and mastitis, but through it all, I continued to nurse my baby and have never regretted it. It saved me from sleepless nights, and the washing of countless bottles. I think sometimes all we need to hear are more positive stories about breastfeeding, and to also believe in our body’s ability to feed our baby. It also helps to have positive and supportive people around to turn to when it gets tough.

My research for this post comes from Penny Simkins’ “The Birth Partner: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, and All Other Labor Companions”.  There are many other books out there about doulas, so check out your local bookseller, or Amazon, but “The Birth Partner” is just sitting here on my shelf wanting to be useful.  I have to say, Ms. Simkin is the authority on all things birthing, so she is a trusted source, and this book is not to be missed. 

In a nutshell, a doula is a trained labor companion. But wait…you might be thinking, my partner is going to be there with me each step of the way, we do not need some stranger with us! True, your partner will be there, but labor is stressful, and sometimes it can be too much for our loved ones to see us in pain. Even the most prepared couple can benefit from a doulas help. A doula meets you before the birth to discuss your birth preferences, is on call for you, arrives at your home or the hospital when you need her, and stays with you throughout your birth until the baby is born.

Doulas care is linked to a reduction in cesarean rates, as well as reduced rates of vacuum-extractor and forceps delivery. Women who have doulas care for them during labor often report greater satisfaction with their birth than women who do not have doulas. Doulas may offer their services free of charge while they are working towards certification, or they may offer a sliding scale for payment. Birthday Presence a local Brooklyn resource on Eighth St, specializes in labor support.

Some More Resources:

www.dona.com

www.doulaworld.com

www.doulanetwork.com